It’s my 3rd day of vacation, which means it’s my 3rd day of being completely out of touch with the outside world. This also means I had no idea that they were calling for 15 cm of snow last night when I decided to leave my car on the street, too lazy to leave my couch to put it in the garage. So this morning I awoke to the surprise of a hefty amount of beautiful snow outside my window. I was so excited about having an actual white Christmas, until I remembered I was Jewish, and more importantly that my freaking car was on the street. As I pictured my adorable hatchback under a huge mound of icy snow that I would need to shovel for what would likely feel like hours, I threw my hair in a ponytail, put on my warmest sweats, some deodorant (this would surely count as my morning cardio), and all the winter gear I could find.
I went out with my snow brush and shovel and started going at it, when a silver BMW stopped right behind my car, and an adorable, bearded, smiley guy got out. As he walked to the cafe that I was parked in front of, he asked if I needed any help. I giggled inside and said no I’m ok (I really was fine, strong woman and all), but thank you. If the story ended there I probably would have been perfectly giddy, but it doesn’t. Once he got closer to the cafe, he realized it was closed (duh, it’s Christmas) and turned back to his car, and AGAIN asked to help me. Feminism aside, I also don’t know how to flirt with guys, so I panicked and just said I really appreciate the offer, but I only have one shovel anyway! So like a misguided gentleman, he said ok fine, but I’m waiting in my car till I see you get yours out.
It took about 35 seconds for him to realize how weird that actually was and to get back out of his car to say this feels wrong let me do the shoveling for you. Cue heart eyes emoji. He took my shovel from me and started clearing the snow, while I awkwardly brushed windows that I had already brushed 3 minutes earlier, desperately thinking of ways to make conversation. It only took a few minutes for him to clear the snow before telling me to try to drive my car out, so we only had a brief chit chat, but it was enough for me to assess that he was not socially awkward, and seemed cool and normal enough. Check and check. I got into my car and tried to back and forth out of my spot, while he kept shoveling around me each time my car didn’t make it out. Swoon. All I could think of in the car was OMG he’s so cute and nice and WTF I’m at my least attractive/pre makeup point of my day, hopefully he at least sees my inner beauty. Haha jokes, as if. My mind started to race as I wondered if I was supposed to invite him in for the coffee that he didn’t get as a thank you… but then he would need to come into my condo, which I haven’t cleaned since October. Scratch that. But is he even single? Maybe he’s just a nice guy, or maybe he’s gay, or in a rush to get somewhere. Who am I kidding. I have no guts and so asked him nothing. Once I got my car out, he put my shovel back in my trunk for me, and as I thanked him he gave an adorable smile, said no worries and happy holidays, rushed back to his car before I could say anything else, and sexily sped away.
If this was a rom-com, I would have had the guts and opportunity to invite him in, and instead of writing this blog post, we would be making out by the crackling fire channel on my TV, he would bring me to his Christmas dinner, we would fall in love, and be married by Christmas 2018.
But it’s not a rom-com, it’s sad cold reality.
But who knows, maybe this will be my version of La La Land, and we will run into each other a few times over the next week, and I’ll tap dance my way into… Ryan Gosling’s arms!?
Here’s hoping 😉