So I had my first date here in Toronto. It was a Tinder date, and because I’m on a tight schedule (remember? 1 guy/week), and it’s Tinder after all, I only got to know so much about him, with a vague idea of what he looked like from a few blurry pics.
I have to say, I only realized once the date was over how different it is to meet a guy with the hopes of dating him long-term vs. the hope of 1+ nights of fun. This is where my problems began.
I normally schedule a first date at a time where it’s easy to escape if he’s a weirdo, and never for dinner, that’s way too big a commitment. So in my usual style, I said let’s meet for early drinks on Friday, since I have (possibly fake) plans later on. Mistake #1, apparently.
We went for a beer downtown, sat outside on a terrasse, oops sorry Torontonians, that’s what we call a patio where I’m from. I later found out those were mistakes #2 and #3.
To my surprise, once I got there, my first impression wasn’t my usual “Oh god, an hour with this guy?”, but more along the lines of “Ok, I can work with this.” I then realized, shockingly, that even the conversation was decent; by no means fireworks, but again, something I can work with. I wasn’t even being my usual sass-hole self, just a nice pleasant girl! So far so good. We had 2 beers, he walked me to the streetcar and waited for it with me, and then well, we went our separate ways :S
I then met up with M and her pro-slut friends for the postmortem. As I described what I thought was a successful date and got their feedback, I realized that it wasn’t a successful slut-date after all, just a decent “regular” date. Wtf? Now I don’t know what anyone expected, but I realized (thanks to D) that I couldn’t take it from 0 to 10 in just one date! Who do I think I am?! In addition, I realized that I need to approach dating in a very different way than I’m used to- not my usual I’m a cute dorky girl who asks lots of questions and listens really well, but more I’m a flirty girl who leans in to the convo and smiles a lot.
Then L showed up with lots of tips for me, like all kindz, the type that I can totally apply (as opposed to other people’s nonsense advice like give him a hand-job under the table, what?). This was when I realized what mistakes #1, #2, and #3 were. When dating as a slut, make the 1-2 hours of the date starting later at night, like once it’s dark, so there is the option to end the night “together” at one of your places, while still being able to escape an hour after meeting if things didn’t go to in that direction. Brilliant and very easy to apply. Mistake #2 was sitting on a patio. Apparently a true slut sits at the bar so you can get all tight and cozy next to the guy if you want to, whereas you can’t do that sitting across from each other at a table. As for the last mistake, if the guy is cute and you think you want to hit a home run with him (do people still say that?), then drink some hard booze, not beer, so you can get drunk more quickly and make the flirting turn more easily into some bow-chica-wow-wow, know what I’m saying?
While realizing the things I did wrong, and him being a bang-worthy dude, I figured that if I can apply my new-found knowledge to a possible date #2 with him, then I can should be able to make a home run out of it. In the mean time I have other dates to tend to!
I’ll be out of town for the weekend so check back with me next week 🙂